Molossian Bureau of Weights and Measures

Who decided how much a pound weighs? What the heck is a peck? Who measured the earth for that whole metric system thing? What if they were wrong and missed a couple of kilometers? We could be speeding and never know it, or shorter than we thought. It's chaos, madness! Enough with the wacky measurement systems in place today. It's time for something new, something tangible, something (mostly) comprehensible - the Kokintz Measurement System. Named for Professor Alfred Kokintz, the famed scientist from Grand Fenwick, this system is based on easy to grasp ideas, like how much cookie dough weighs, how much fluid there is in a can of Diet Pepsi and the length of His Excellency, The President's hand. The Kokintz System is designed to make it easy to measure those important things in life, especially Molossian life. So go on, how many Nortons tall are you?

Length & Area
1 Micro-Norton (MN) 1 Inch 2.5 Centimeters -
1 Norton (No) (=7 Micro-Nortons) 7 Inches 17.7 Centimeters Equivalent to the
Length of The President's Hand
1 Royal Norton (RN) (=9 Nortons) 63 Inches 1.6 Meters -
1 Imperial Norton (IN) (=625 Royal Nortons) .62 Miles 1 Kilometer -
1 Square Royal Norton (sRN) 27.56 Square Feet 2.56 Square Meters (2054 sRN's in Molossia)
1 Fenwick (Fk) 2 Pounds .9 Kilograms Equivalent to
1 Large Pillsbury Cookie Dough Tube
1 Bascomb (Ba) (7 in a Fenwick) 2.3 Ounces 65 Grams -
1 Grand Fenwick (GF) (=988.5 Fenwicks) 1977 Pounds 889.65 Kilograms -
Liquid Volume
1 Simms (Si) 12 Ounces 354 Milliliters Equivalent to
1 Can of Diet Pepsi
1 Parador (Pd) (7 in a Simms) 1.7 Ounces 50 Milliliters -
Water freezes = 0 degrees Zenda

Body Temperature = 65 degrees Zenda

Water Boils = 175.7 degrees Zenda
Water freezes = 32 degrees fahrenheit

Body Temperature = 98.6 degrees fahrenheit

Water Boils = 212 degrees fahrenheit
Water freezes = 0 degrees Celsius

Body Temperature = 38 degrees Celsius

Water Boils = 100 degrees Celsius
Body temperature is equivalent to the number of Micro-Nortons that the iconic Marilyn Monroe was tall, measured from 0 degrees Zenda, which is the freezing point of water.

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